Mitres on the road: the most chaotic game so far (and how far can university teams go?)

Coombe Dingle is the very large and mostly impressive home of the University of Bristol's BUCS operation where many of their students will spend their Wednesdays. It houses everything from cricket to rugby, football to lacrosse, and hockey to American football as well as everything else you could hope to play. What it isn't, however, is a Hellenic football ground.

It was a top-of-the-table clash between the University of Bristol and Bishops Cleeve Development in Division Two West of the Hellenic League and the hosts were very aware of the occasion as they made preparations as awkward as possible for the visitors. Be it on purpose to gain an advantage before the game had even kicked off or due to poor organisation from an organisation that doesn't seem to know what it's doing, you've got to hand it to them. It almost worked.

This is far from the glitz and glamour of the Premier League but it's still got standards. The vast majority of the football grounds used in this league belong to a first team competing at a higher level, Cleeve is the obvious example with Kayte Lane up to Southern League standards. Most of the other teams within the league are development or reserve sides for Hellenic League Premier Division clubs with a few in Division One, such as Cheltenham Saracens and Tytherington Rocks. The University of Bristol is the only first team in the league and they do not have a football ground. You may be wondering what they're doing in this league, but I'll get to that later.

A stand from Tytherington Rocks of Hellenic Division One & Two West

Many blogs or videos of this kind talk about the history of the club, the character of the ground, and possibly speak to the fans, obviously, there wasn't any of this. This article isn't just an avenue to moan or complain, in case it reads that way, this is just what the first impression was. They did quite a few things wrong, so my honest review may be a bit moany, but it's all accurate. The first issue they came across was the lack of any indication of where to park and where to get changed and when Cleeve did finally gain access to a changing room, they had to pay for the privilege.

The next issue was that the Uni's lacrosse and women's football teams were using our pitch until 20:00, which is when kick-off was scheduled for with nowhere to warm up. If you aren't fully aware of what teams need to have before a game, that's one of the big things. As a neutral or groundhopper you'd be baffled, I'd assume, by the complete lack of any sign of a football match actually taking place. Once Cleeve finally got on the pitch it quickly became apparent that this was not a football pitch, the artificial surface was 90% flat and there were markings for at least three other sports. Even worse was the fact that the touchlines were white while the inner markings were all blue...oh and there were other markings on there that were also blue. Weird.

The rather busy Coombe Dingle pitch

The game was, to put it simply, insane. Looking through the Twitter updates it looked as though the Cleeve admin was having a mental breakdown. So much was happening and so much of it would be impossible to explain in 280 characters. Once the hosts had emerged from their classroom and we were finally able to start (with only an hour until my bedtime) it became quite clear what their tactic was. Run. Run sideways, run forward, run backwards, run until Cleeve were too exhausted to move. At the start, it worked, and they fashioned 99% of the chances with two saves, three blocks, and the post and crossbar being hit within ten minutes. But running can only get you so far as Bristol found out ten minutes in when Tommy Bond was played through on goal and scored with the Mitres' first shot of the game. This didn't really change the momentum of the home side however as they continued to keep running and shooting without finding the net.

11 minutes after the goal, the hosts had a penalty. As far as I'm aware, the University of Bristol FC don't have a nickname so get used to lots of the "Bristol"s and "the hosts"s. This penalty was given after an outstanding diving save from Charlie Swift but unfortunately for Charlie, he was playing centre-back. Without meaning to respect authority, Bristol took the penalty before the referee blew his whistle and while he was still talking to Swift. It was abysmal. They attempted to chip it down the middle but instead kicked it over the bar, through the rugby H, and through the American football Y behind that. They turned to the ref and asked to take it again and he said no. Goal kick.

They would eventually equalise from a corner which did fit the run of play, having had the majority of possession and the vast bulk of the chances so a goal was almost inevitable. Based on the opening ten minutes I'd estimate the final score as one heavily in the home side's favour but it would be Cleeve who scored next. The Bristol keeper caught a back pass and Matt Magee fired it home. Against the run of play? Probably. Fair? I think so. To add to the manic nature of occasion, the nature of Coombe Dingle meant that other pitches around us were being used which did cause some confusion when whistles started ringing out and players stopped playing.

Mitres keeper Dan Hollings had a busy evening and made save after save after save, Swift was crowned man of the match due to his never-ending conveyor belt of clearances and headers, and the entire second half was spent 'holding on'. In the end, Bristol got their goal but only just. A lucky deflection saw the ball fall to their feet three yards out and they just about squeezed it in. A sizeable amount of added time followed, but not too much as the floodlights were on a timer and would promptly be switched off at 22:00, with the game ending with five minutes to spare and as a stalemate at the top of the table. It did seem that the showers were controlled by the same timer as it sounded as though they were exceptionally cold.

I think that Bristol are trying to copy Hartpury, but it's not going to work. Their players aren't as good, their facilities are substandard, and they go home at Christmas.

Hartpury University FC will be playing in the Hellenic Premier Division for the first time in their short history after being crowned Division One champions last season. Their meteoric rise should be no surprise for one of the finest sporting higher education setups in the country able to attract released scholars and former professionals from across the country. 

With BUCS success not enough, Hartpury founded a football club within the English football pyramid and joined Division Two North of the Hellenic League in 2020, finishing fourth having only played five games. Division Two North promotion is by application only and with their football credentials already on show, they were moved up a tier to the Herefordshire FA County League for the 2021/22 season. They won it at the first attempt. 

This provided passage to Division One of the Hellenic League which brought more success, although their debut season ended in penalty heartbreak in the play-off final, they would go on to win the title to compete in the Premier Division against the likes of Cirencester Town, Worcester Raiders, and Slimbridge in the 2024/25 season. 

But how far can their success take them?

Hartpury University FC

They are not the only University in the English football pyramid with the likes of Exeter, Bath, Newcastle, and Loughborough all competing in semi-local leagues. Elsewhere in the Hellenic League, the University of Bristol joined Division Two West for the 2023/24 season and lost out on the title to Fairford Reserves with a rough end to the season seeing them play twice on the same day on multiple occasions due to breaks taken at Christmas.  

The University of Exeter potentially fell victim to their setup as the runaway Devon Football League (tier 11) were denied promotion to Division One of the Western League with no known reason.  The Western League sits alongside the Hellenic League with Division One serving the 10th tier and the Premier Division in the 9th. They announced that they would be appealing the decision. 

Elsewhere, Newcastle University compete in the Northern League Division Two, the same level as Hellenic Division One. They first joined the pyramid in the 1970s but left at the end of the 1978/79 season, later rejoining the Northern Alliance league system in 1988. They eventually worked their way up to the Northern League via some promotions and relegations and finished ninth in the tenth tier in their most recent campaign. 

Loughborough Students compete in the 8th tier after finishing third in the United Counties Premier Division North and winning promotion to the Northern League Division One where they will play at the same level as the likes of Bishops Cleeve, Evesham United, and one below Gloucester City and Alvechurch. Loughborough were a trailblazer in this aspect, they originally joined the leagues in 1966 but, like Newcastle, left. Having dropped out in 1972, they returned in 2007 and worked their way up the pyramid to where they are today. They even reached the semi-finals of the 2021/22 FA Vase. 

The shining example and perhaps the reason for the limitations University teams face is Team Bath who climbed all the way to the National League South (or Conference South as it was then known) in 2008, the sixth tier of English football. In 2002/03, they became the first University team to reach the first round proper of the FA Cup since 1880. They folded at the end of the 2008/09 season having only been formed in 1999 and seeing a rapid rise up the pyramid. This came after The FA changed the eligibility rules for FA competitions such as the FA Cup to clubs which were ‘Limited Companies’ which meant that University teams could not enter without separating from the University itself. This led to the Conference and Football League banning Bath from promotion and the club ceasing to exist. They were also not a fully student based side, with semi-professional players complimenting the student roster. 

Nowadays, the highest a University can play in England is the 8th tier, aka the Southern League Divison One around here. Therefore, Hartpury can win one more promotion before reaching its ceiling, while they are able to compete in the FA competitions. I don't think this is something Bristol needs to worry about, they are competitive at this level but they don't set the league alight. Coombe Dingle is also nowhere near good enough to host anything about the County League and shouldn't really be used in Hellenic Division Two. They need stands, seats, floodlights, pitch side barriers, walls and fences and so much more that I don't exactly see the institution investing in.

Despite all this, the University of Bristol and definitely a team to keep an eye on. They'll undoubtedly be near the top of the table and could find their way into a higher league, but they definitely couldn't do at Coombe Dingle. It is not a football ground, and if it were it would not exactly be popular.